2015 was my year of willingness.
When 2015 began I was pregnant and had recently been diagnosed with stage 1 malignant melanoma. I had my baby in January and soon after found out that my cancer was actually stage 3. I was terrified and not willing to accept the truth of what that diagnosis and treatment plan would mean.
I spent most of 2015 in bed recovering from surgeries, chemo and in more physical pain than I can ever describe in words.
My old motto was I don’t have time for my health. It’s a waste of time. What a reality check I got in 2015. Not only do I now understand how important my health is but I will never take my incredible body for granted again.
I wasn’t willing to be sick. I wasn’t willing to be in bed for so long. I wasn’t willing to stop my passion of working with people and supporting them in having lives that they loved. I wasn’t willing to miss so much of my newborn’s first moments. I wasn’t willing to travel 4 hours to my oncology team to be poked prodded and treated like a piece of meat who may or may not die. I wasn’t willing to have to talk to my older daughter about the truth of what was happening. I wasn’t willing for my new husband to see me as a cancer patient.
I decided that I had better surrender to a force bigger than me.
I learned how to connect to and trust God.
I learned how to be still and sit with the pain. I learned to be a stand for the pain because it was my body attempting to heal and release what was no longer serving me.
I learned to accept that my husband truly does unconditionally love me and our girls.
I became willing to have had my world shatter because I really got to know myself this year.
Nothing can ever be the same after my year of cancer. I now believe that is a wonderful gift.
The community of friends, clients, family and even some strangers that loved and supported me through all of 2015 helped save my life. My holistic healers made the worst moments bearable. I had weekly reiki, acupuncture, massage, yoga, chiropractic and I frequently coached with my life coach throughout the entire year.
I decided early on in 2015 to take on letting go of anything in my life that was toxic or draining me. This was not easy but I wanted anything cancerous about my life to show itself to me.
I have a lot of learning left to do but I have never been more grateful to have my life, my family, my business, and my year of cancer.
Miracles do happen.
On January 1, 2016, I am clear about my health, my life purpose and my message of love and possibility.
I start 2016 at peace, grateful and WILLING.
May you have peace this year.