Cancer will not be my crisis

I choose to play the game of cancer like it’s NOT a crisis.

Of course I’m taking my diagnosis seriously, but I’m not going to freak out. I’m not going to melt down. I have a 6-week-old, a 10-year-old and the man of my dreams to focus on. I have my business, my family, my friends and two fur babies.

I never would have imagined or asked for stage III metastatic melanoma. However, I know there are lessons to be learned and rocket fuel to gain. Right now, I’m unclear what this means for me, but I do know I’ll stay focused on what inspires and fills me during this time. It’s sometimes difficult for me to remember to stay in my own business and to focus on what I do have control over. But now more than ever before, that is my goal.

The other day, while watching the snow fall, I realized I’ve set up a life I love and am proud of. I know real love, not just romantic love. I have people around me who let me SEE them and who I let SEE me. I’ve learned to live in way that’s vulnerable. Five years ago, that seemed impossible. While I am at times experiencing waves of fear, anger, grief, shame, and confusion about my cancer diagnosis I know I have a solid foundation and incredible support system to carry me through.

The show will go on.

I will continue to love myself.

I will continue to love my husband and my children.

I will continue to honor my body.

I will continue to expand my mind and grow.

I will continue to work.

I will continue to LIVE.

Thank you to everyone who has cried with me, laughed with me, visited me, sent messages, emails and gifts.

The choice every moment is to live or to let a little part of you die. I choose to live.

Today – and in this moment – please choose to LIVE. When you want to run, melt down or give up, breathe. Choose life.

Thank you for being ALIVE and light in my life.

I love you.

The show goes on.